Bessie and the Pig Butts

I know what you're thinking... that would be an awesome name for a band. (Feel free to use it, as long as you give me free tickets to one of your concerts once you go on tour.) In this case, though, I was referring to something else. There is a lovely winding road that we find ourselves on quite often. There isn't much on it other than fields, trees, and the random house or two. And Bessie.

Bessie is quite the catch in the Bovine world. We noticed weeks ago that she was in a small field, all alone, separated from her peers. We also noticed that Bessie has some bling. At first, she had three red duct tape "bracelets": one on a front leg, and one on each back leg. Then over time, she has reduced her blingage. Now she is down to just one on her right ankle. It's a very sassy look, but it does make you wonder. We have several theories on this. The most popular is that she auditioned for that "Happy Cow" commercial in the US, and is waiting on her call back. She doesn't care to mingle with the common folk due to that fact that she is on the brink of stardom, hence the private quarters. As all hip actresses know, you have to be on top of the latest fashions, and bling is all the rage. She is just experimenting with a new look. Another less popular theory is that she was a bad, bad cow and has been sentenced to three weeks hard time. Each week she serves on her sentence means one less bracelet. Soon she will be free. Hopefully she has learned her lesson and will not return to her evil ways. Poor Bessie.

Across the road from Bessie are the Pig Butts. No, this is not their official name, but it seems to fit. I was convinced that they were some mutant breed of cattle and hogs. (Hog butts didn't have the same ring to it, so I took some poetic license.) Think of it as a bacon cheeseburger on legs. It's a brilliant marketing strategy, actually. I don't know why McDonald's didn't think of it sooner.

I asked around and was told that they are cattle bred specifically for better meat. People have been known to mess with me at times, so I also googled it. Turns out that they were right. They are a breed called Belgian Blue. They took some Belgium cows and bred them to some from the United Kingdom, and this is what they came up with. They are also referred to as "double muscled" cattle. Gee, I have no idea why. They are bred to result in very lean meat, and that would explain the fantastic steak you can buy here. You don't even have to tenderize it. So now you know the story behind Bessie and the Pig Butts. I'm sure this is information that were lacking in your education about Belgium. You are a better person for having learned it. Trust me, this could come up the next time you are playing Trivial Pursuit.