A few months ago, in a total absence of any thought whatsoever, I signed up for a half marathon. In my defense, there were several factors involved in it. The main factor...it's in Paris. Not Paris, Texas. Paris, France. (Don't take this the wrong way. I've been to Paris, Texas, and it's a lovely place to visit. They even have a Harley dealership there. Check it out, if you find yourself in the neighborhood.) Some of the more avid runners in our group of friends told us about this annual event. They only let 30,000 people sign up, and when I checked out the website, I could see the little ticker quickly counting down the available positions. In a nutshell, I panicked. Before I thought things through, I had inputted my (and Russ') information and signed us both up for a half marathon. I admit that I was a little bit concerned about being in shape enough to finish it, but the hubby (after accepting the surprising fact that he, too, was signed up to run a 20K race through the middle of a foreign city) designed a workout program that would put me in great shape in time for the event. After all, the race is in March. That was plenty of time to get ready. We started training. If you know anything about me, you know that I am not athletic. Nor am I in more than just adequate shape. And I hate...not dislike, but hate...running. At this point, you are probably rolling your eyes and asking the obvious question, "Then why did you sign up for a half marathon, moron?" I'm not offended. I've asked myself this question just about every day since making that fateful "click" and learned that my registration was complete. Duh. It's in Paris! I stayed (mostly) faithful to my training plan for a couple of months, and then life took a painful blow (as life sometimes does), and all that went out the window. After several weeks of no physical activity at all, it's time to reassess this situation. I started back on my training program, but pretty much was starting out at the beginning again. I send the kids off to school and force myself out into the snow, icy rain, or ice fog, drive over to the torture chamber (gym), drag myself onto the hamster wheel (treadmill) and run. Then walk, because I am in horrible shape. Then run again. I am told that men are better runners, because they can clear their minds and just run. Running is relaxing for them. Not women. We think. We think about what we need to do that day, what errands we need to run, and what we are going to prepare for dinner. We think about the laundry that is piled up, phone calls that need to be returned, and if we are out of toilet paper. And when we can get off of this stupid treadmill. "Crap, it's only been 15 minutes? Are you kidding me?" Anyhoo, like I said, it's time for reassessment. First, you have to get to Paris (regular train and then bullet train, and back home again), then get a hotel for at least 2 nights (you have to check in and get your bib the day before and you won't feel like traveling the afternoon after you run), and eat (be careful about that, because if something upsets your stomach, then you really won't feel like running). There isn't any time for sight seeing. And if you don't finish the race in the allotted time (2 hours and 40 minutes), then you don't even get official credit for the race. Or a picture of you crossing the finish line. So what we are talking about is spending a whole lot of money to punish myself in a foreign city, and probably not even "officially" finishing the race. It's fair to say the bloom is off the rose. After talking it over with the hubby, I've come to the conclusion that it's not worth it to take part in this marathon. I'm not a quitter, though. Instead, I am holding the first official "I Am Too Cheap To Take Part In The Paris Half Marathon Half Marathon". Bear with me, it's a working title and I'm not married to it. It will take place on the same day, March 6, but will begin just a few blocks from my house. Just to make things interesting, it will be an international half marathon. I am mapping out a route that will take us from Belgium, into the Netherlands, and then back into Belgium. Take that, Paris! I already have two other participants signed up for my event. And one isn't even married to me. There are no sign up fees, no travel hassles, and no one cares if it takes me 3 1/2 hours to complete. Rain or shine, I'm going to do this. And, if God's willing, I won't think too much while I'm out there.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Official Unofficial Half Marathon
A few months ago, in a total absence of any thought whatsoever, I signed up for a half marathon. In my defense, there were several factors involved in it. The main factor...it's in Paris. Not Paris, Texas. Paris, France. (Don't take this the wrong way. I've been to Paris, Texas, and it's a lovely place to visit. They even have a Harley dealership there. Check it out, if you find yourself in the neighborhood.) Some of the more avid runners in our group of friends told us about this annual event. They only let 30,000 people sign up, and when I checked out the website, I could see the little ticker quickly counting down the available positions. In a nutshell, I panicked. Before I thought things through, I had inputted my (and Russ') information and signed us both up for a half marathon. I admit that I was a little bit concerned about being in shape enough to finish it, but the hubby (after accepting the surprising fact that he, too, was signed up to run a 20K race through the middle of a foreign city) designed a workout program that would put me in great shape in time for the event. After all, the race is in March. That was plenty of time to get ready. We started training. If you know anything about me, you know that I am not athletic. Nor am I in more than just adequate shape. And I hate...not dislike, but hate...running. At this point, you are probably rolling your eyes and asking the obvious question, "Then why did you sign up for a half marathon, moron?" I'm not offended. I've asked myself this question just about every day since making that fateful "click" and learned that my registration was complete. Duh. It's in Paris! I stayed (mostly) faithful to my training plan for a couple of months, and then life took a painful blow (as life sometimes does), and all that went out the window. After several weeks of no physical activity at all, it's time to reassess this situation. I started back on my training program, but pretty much was starting out at the beginning again. I send the kids off to school and force myself out into the snow, icy rain, or ice fog, drive over to the torture chamber (gym), drag myself onto the hamster wheel (treadmill) and run. Then walk, because I am in horrible shape. Then run again. I am told that men are better runners, because they can clear their minds and just run. Running is relaxing for them. Not women. We think. We think about what we need to do that day, what errands we need to run, and what we are going to prepare for dinner. We think about the laundry that is piled up, phone calls that need to be returned, and if we are out of toilet paper. And when we can get off of this stupid treadmill. "Crap, it's only been 15 minutes? Are you kidding me?" Anyhoo, like I said, it's time for reassessment. First, you have to get to Paris (regular train and then bullet train, and back home again), then get a hotel for at least 2 nights (you have to check in and get your bib the day before and you won't feel like traveling the afternoon after you run), and eat (be careful about that, because if something upsets your stomach, then you really won't feel like running). There isn't any time for sight seeing. And if you don't finish the race in the allotted time (2 hours and 40 minutes), then you don't even get official credit for the race. Or a picture of you crossing the finish line. So what we are talking about is spending a whole lot of money to punish myself in a foreign city, and probably not even "officially" finishing the race. It's fair to say the bloom is off the rose. After talking it over with the hubby, I've come to the conclusion that it's not worth it to take part in this marathon. I'm not a quitter, though. Instead, I am holding the first official "I Am Too Cheap To Take Part In The Paris Half Marathon Half Marathon". Bear with me, it's a working title and I'm not married to it. It will take place on the same day, March 6, but will begin just a few blocks from my house. Just to make things interesting, it will be an international half marathon. I am mapping out a route that will take us from Belgium, into the Netherlands, and then back into Belgium. Take that, Paris! I already have two other participants signed up for my event. And one isn't even married to me. There are no sign up fees, no travel hassles, and no one cares if it takes me 3 1/2 hours to complete. Rain or shine, I'm going to do this. And, if God's willing, I won't think too much while I'm out there.
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Have you officially dropped out of the Paris race? How can 2 more people sign up if you are still on the list?
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