My Haunted House

After two years, I had suspected it, but now I've come to see
That my house is haunted by two friendly ghosts: I Don't Know and Not Me.
I've never really seen them, and they seldom make a sound.
They're more mischievous than anything, but they really hang around.
They leave crumbs on the kitchen counter, and trash beside the sink.
They never remember to shut the door, and draw on jeans with ink.
They eat chocolate from my candy dish, but leave the wrappers there.
Sometimes they make the bathroom such a mess, I really want to swear!
I thought at first it was the hubby, or maybe just the kids,
Who left those clothes upon the floor or misplaced my Tupperware lids.
But when I ask them who the culprit is, they smile angelically.
Their answer is always "I don't know" and sometimes just "Not Me".
I Don't Know gets in the trouble most, for he's the messiest one.
Not Me is a bit more sneaky, but still likes to have his fun.
It's hard enough to keep this place neat without their extra assistance.
These darn ghosts have made it so much worse, and provide too much resistance.
I'm off to vacuum once again and clean up all this crap.
For some reason, while my kids are in school, my two ghost like to nap.

My House Is Haunted...Again.

I woke up to a dead van battery. It's cold, foggy, and I had a date with my favorite antique warehouse, so I was a tad grumpy about the whole battery thing. Such is life. Luckily, I was going to the warehouse with a friend, so we hopped in her car and things went along as scheduled. I got home a couple of hours later, made myself some lunch, ate, and then plopped down in front of the upstairs computer. Then it happened. I'm typing away, minding my own business, when a man forcefully instructed me to "Turn around now!" I froze. Holy cow. Someone is in my house. All of my fight or flight options were madly running through my head, when the man said something else. "At the roundabout, take the first exit." Wait a minute... Is that you, Thomas? I peeked over the balcony, and sure enough. There is Thomas (my GPS), sitting on the entry table, screen shinning in all his glory, while waiting for me to take the first exit on the next roundabout that I come to. UGH! Now comes the big question. How did Thomas get turned on? I did bring him in from my van this morning and plop him down on the table, but he wasn't on (that I know of). Plus, if he had been turned on the entire time, why didn't he say anything during the 30-45 minutes that I was home before this? This leads me to the only logical explanation....ghosts. I guess I should be grateful that they've been behaving themselves since the last episode with the attic window. *sigh* Well, I guess it goes with the territory. I mean, after all, this is Europe. And it is almost Halloween. I guess I should have expected something like this. But if they ever mess with my van battery again, they will have to find a new home to haunt. I'm just saying.